The Forbidden Heart of Rin
by StoriedFabric
Summary: Here we see Rin as being strong, independent, rebellious, and sassy! The plot (initially) revolves around her not wanting to be involved with Sesshomaru romantically. This is a clean read!
1. Chapter 1

"I do not want to be Izayoi."

She had the audacity to say those words to my face – and why? Because I happen to caress her cheek casually.

"And I don't want to be my father," I spat back.

"Glad we understand each other, Sesshomaru."

Humph.

* * *

I had caressed her cheek because she had a nightmare. It was to sooth her. She should be grateful – comforting does not come naturally to me. Instead she threw it right back into my face.

"Is there any reason you're staring so vengefully at me?" asked Rin.

"I want to know why you brought Izayoi into this."

"It's quite simple really. I do not want to be your mate."

My eyes narrowed. What did she have to lose by being my mate? If anything, she had everything to gain because it is I who would have everything to lose. But that is besides the point, why is she apprehensive about this, when I should be? It is my place to refrain from my father's mistake, not hers!

"It is not as if that was ever an option, Rin. But out of curiosity, why would you reject me?"

"Well let's see, Sesshomaru. You hate humans – I am human. You hate half breeds and yet, that is all you would get from me. You would want a demon to be your mate and I am a human. These, I believe, are my main reasons."

"And what of your minor ones?"

She squirmed. I could sense her uneasiness. There was a smell about her – nervousness.

"You don't have any, do you?" I challenge her.

"I doubt you're very good with pups," she retorted, with a smug look on her face.

"And you gather this from…?

"I know you well enough Sesshomaru."

"And if that were true you would know that I would not have taken you in, Rin."

"I was not a "pup" – I was a child."

"Correct and may I say, a human child?"

"You only took me in because I cared for you"

"And smiled. The smile was more important than you think."

She looked away, embarrassed. I smirk.

"Anyway, if I wanted to just repay you and nothing more, I would have only revived you and stopped there. However I didn't stop there, did I my dearest?"

She blushes at her faulty reasoning. I smirk out of satisfaction.

"I was an exception."

"Indeed."

* * *

We came to a resting spot by the trees. Rin had a dinner of fried fish and was now making herself comfortable in a tent of blankets. She sat outside her tent and gazed at me.

"Is there any reason you're staring at me, beloved?"

"Please do not call me that."

I smirk. "Why?"

"Because it hurts."

My head snaps to her immediately. I feel guilt gathering at the pit of my stomach.

"I don't understand. You said you did not want to be my mate. Why should my use of endearments bother you? They were only meant to tease."

"Were they only meant to tease, Sesshomaru? You know that this topic of mating is sensitive to the both of us. Please steer clear from it!"

I am shocked. She is truly hurt and it is because of me.

"I…"

"I don't expect you to say anything and I apologize for the outburst. It's best I go to bed now. Good night."

I can only look after her retreating back, since for the second time, Rin has left me with no words in my mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

Rin is walking ahead of me. I have been unconsciously walking on egg shells all morning - for the first time. I do not know what to say or how to feel. How must one comfort a hurting female?

"Rin." I begin.

"What is it, Sesshomaru?" She asks me wearily.

"I sincerely did not mean to cause you any pain. You know that."

"Perhaps."

"You know I do not like vague answers, Rin. Care to elaborate?"

"There are many ways I could answer that question. Things have never been black and white between us, like they have with Inuyasha and Kagome."

"What role does he have to play in this?"

"I mean, when Kikyo was not in the picture, it was clear to them that they could finally be together. There were no reservations in Inuyasha's mind."

"Of course not - what reservations do you expect from a simpleton?"

She sighs and walks ahead faster. I do not understand her behaviour. Was it something I said? It should be plain for all to see that Inuyasha is a simpleton.

* * *

It is noon. She stops walking and turns to me.

"I want to stop at the nearest village."

I lift a wary eyebrow. "Why? You are not out of supplies."

"No. But I would like to be among my own kind for an afternoon."

Why must she draw lines? After Rin left Kaede, it was understood that she was to be in my company, never desiring human contact.

"I was not aware my company was so poor to you, Rin."

"Of course you were not - don't expect me back till sun down. Goodbye."

And with that, she turns and walks away.

* * *

And what does she expect me to do while she is away? Does this female think I have time to waste away at her whims and fancies? She was always so reasonable - a trait I admired most admirably. But off late, she has been edgy around me; not to mention, distant. I can only wonder at what caused this change...

Perhaps it is what my idiot brother's mate calls "hormones".

* * *

I spy her returning to me with a thoughtful expression on her face. My eyes narrow.

"Rin, I do not appreciate you wasting my time. This was an unnecessary visit to the village. I can only imagine how you wiled away the time."

Her eyes fire up in anger. I must steady myself to battle with equal ferocity.

"I did not 'wile' away my time, as you put it. I traded - and with success, might I add."

"Traded? And what did you trade exactly? Why was I not aware of your purpose?"

"I do not have to tell you everything, Sesshomaru and I choose not to tell you this." She looked at me defiantly.

"Rin, I will say this only once - I demand to know what you are hiding from me."

"I do not answer to demands, I am not your mate and even if I was, you would not rule over me Sesshomaru! I am not a silly demon female to let you walk all over me."

I inwardly gasp. There is only one explanation for Rin to be acting up to such an extreme.

"I will let the matter go for now but answer me this, if you please - is it your time of the month, Rin?"

I see her cringe.

"Why you! You have some nerve, Sesshomaru! How dare...how dare you ask me such a personal question! You will do well to reserve such questions only to your mate."

She gives me her angry back again.

I sigh.


	3. Chapter 3

"Rin, where are you going now?" I asked, rather resigned.

Night has fallen. Camp is set and Rin's tent of blankets is up. There is no reason for her to be wandering away at this time of the night.

"I want to clean myself. I am filthy. Surely you can smell it."

I smell it now - old blood mixed with the day's perspiration.

I rise. "Go. I will follow."

"No"

"Pardon?"

"I do not require you to keep watch for me. You can do so by sitting here and I assure you that no one will want to peek in the middle of the night."

"Even so, I would like to keep watch."

"Not necessary."

I lost it.

"You arrogant woman! Don't you see that the stakes are raised, now that you are a woman grown? Do you really want to take your chances?" I growl, unable to keep it within me any longer.

"And might I remind you that I am well versed in the art of demon slaying! Why must you treat me like a defenseless human?"

"Because that is what you are, you ignorant female!" I sigh.

"You are not keeping watch and that is final. Throw as many temper tantrums as you like but I am resolved."

As usual, her back is towards me and she is walking away.

* * *

I am seething. Rin is driving me up the wall. I do not know whether it is her cycle that is to blame or whether it is her. She has never been this bad during her cycle, so it must be her. Something must be done.

A scent interrupts my train of thought. A demon and not just any demon, but a dog demon. Strange.

I send out a warning growl. Anyone with half a brain would heed to it.

Rin's scent approaches me now. I calm down considerably. She smells of fragrant oils. Perhaps that is what attracts demons to her. She should stop wearing it in public.

"Rin..." I begin to tell her, when the most unexpected sight comes into view.

There was Rin of course, looking as glowy as ever in her midnight blue kimono. And then, next to her was a member of my sparse clan - Inudai. They looked so natural together - almost like mates.

I snap out of it.

"Inudai, when did you arrive and why did you not approach me first?" I question.

"Just a few minutes back and let's face it Sesshomaru, Rin is a far more welcoming sight." He turns to her smiling.

She gives him a big smile. The smile I am fond of and the very one, she has withheld from me these past days.

"Rin, do not feel so obligated to give my clan member such a welcoming smile, especially when you seem to smile so rarely these days."

She turns to me, her eyes narrow. My eyes narrow too, warning her that she should not disgrace me in front of a clan member.

She huffs.

"Oh but I do enjoy Rin's smiles! And I am not some stranger to Rin, am I?" He turns to her, with a friendly wink.

"No you are not, my dear friend. Come, we must catch up. I have missed you!"

"And I you."

They walk together towards the camp fire, leaving me alone - yet again.


	4. Chapter 4

"How long will you be journeying with us Inudai?" I ask.

"Ah eager to get rid of me, are you Sesshomaru? Want to keep this treasure all to yourself, I assume?" He said, looking at Rin with bright eyes.

I do not like his playful banter. I do not have time for such foolishness.

"Oh no, don't you worry about that Dai. I am in no danger from Sesshomaru. You know he prefers female demons. Oh and please stay for as long as you like, you will be welcome company!"

"Uh Rin, I thought you said that it was only female demons who fawn over their males." I said.

"I am not fawning, take that back! Dai, am I fawning over you?"

"I do hope so, my lovely friend. That would be a dream come true."

"Oh Dai! Can't you ever be serious." She slaps his arm playfully.

I have had enough. I feel old - for the first time.

* * *

"It's too bad Dai had to go so soon." Rin crosses her arms with a sulk on her face.

"Perhaps you would prefer to journey with Inudai next time?"

She looks at me with an obvious expression on her face - "you know that would not be considered proper."

"Then perhaps you would like to make it proper? Become his mate?"

"Would you like that? To be free of me at last?"

"I said no such thing. Might I add that your behaviour only provided proof of your attachment to him. I was perhaps only voicing what was already in your heart."

"Do not be so presumptuous, Sesshomaru. You will never know what is in my heart. You are as clueless as your 'simpleton' brother."

"There is no need for such language, Rin. Why must you be as uncivil as a child? I do not even recall you being uncivil as a child."

"And you wonder why I am so uncivil. You are as thoughtless as ever. I really do hope you will find a mate who gives it back to you tenfold!"

"You are already doing a fine job of that; or so it seems."

And for once, it is I who leave Rin with her fists clenched.

Victory is mine.


	5. Chapter 5

Rin has gone to hunt for food. I decide to assemble her makeshift tent for her, as a show of appeasement. When I lay out her blankets, I notice a bill of transaction. It stated that the items traded were homemade kimonos.

I clench my fists. Of course Rin would go behind my back and defy me. I cannot let this go. I make my way to her immediately.

"Rin, face me."

"Oh Sesshomaru, let me be. I am hungry and if I don't find food in the next five minutes, I might as well eat you."

"Just what did you trade at the village?"

"I told you..."

"While making your tent, I found this." I show her the bill.

Her eyes widen.

"And you read it?"

"Of course I did. It was an unexpected article to fall from your blankets. What did you expect me to do?"

"I suppose you do not approve?"

"I provide for you handsomely. You are a Lady and yet, you try to eek out a measly sum of money by trade? You dishonour me."

"Dishonour? How? I did not ask you to provide for me. In fact, it is rather awkward when you do. You see, I did not ask to be a Lady, only a companion. I would much rather survive by my own hand."

"Is this a virtual slap on my face, Rin? Come here."

She takes a few tentative steps towards me but reaches me.

"Slap me."

"What?" She gasps.

"You have been metaphorically slapping me these past days and this is the ultimate slap. Slap me and be done with it, so at least I can have something physical to go by."

"Sesshomaru, I do not understand. I don't want to slap you."

"And yet, that is what you have been doing all along. I command you to slap me."

"And what are you going to do, once I do slap you?" she asks wearily.

"Same as you - wait and see what I do."

"You are so incorrigible!"

"I said slap me."

"I can't do it. I'm sorry but perhaps you can ask your mother to do your bidding or one of those fawning female demons."

"You disagreeable woman, you won't even allow me the satisfaction of a slap!"

She sighs. "Sesshomaru, I did not mean to seem ungrateful. It is just that I have been having these ideas in my head lately, of designs for kimonos; and one day, I worked on them and ended up with a few pieces. It was then that I thought of selling them, since I had no use for them myself - you had given me plenty of new kimonos already. But judging from the amount of money I made, I figured I could pay for myself hereafter."

"That is not necessary."

"I insist I pay for myself when I can afford to! Besides, this will do you good as well. When it comes to choosing a mate for yourself, it will be good to place some distance between us, to further convince your mate of our relationship being purely professional."

"Don't be ridiculous, Rin. You may indulge in your desires to design kimonos but hold off on the trading for now."

"No. I don't see why I should hold off on anything!"

"Rin!" I growl a warning.

"Sesshomaru!"

"Alright, break it up you two," comes a voice. No doubt my idiot brother's.

"No don't - I enjoyed watching them bicker. They reminded me of us in our single days, Inuyasha!" giggled Kagome.

"You know, I didn't see that at first, but now that you mention it, you are absolutely right!" agreed Inuyasha.

Both of us glare at them.


	6. Chapter 6

Inuyasha and Kagome sired two pups - twins. Both boys, both with Inuyasha's features. How depressing.

Rin and I let our argument rest for the moment. She is now sitting near the fire with Kagome, having what Kagome calls "a girl to girl chat". Humph. Inuyai is on Kagome's lap and Inulai is on Rin's lamp. Rin looks quite at home with him. But then again, she was always good with pups. At this minute, Inulai is twirling his claws through Rin's silky hair, babbling incoherently. Rin seems content with him there; not to mention a lot calmer. Perhaps it is a good thing that Inuyasha and Kagome bumped into us on their journey.

"You know, that could be your mate and your pup." tested Inuyasha.

I turn to him quickly and scoff. "It could but it isn't."

They seem to be a cosy family. I always did think having twins was ideal. One for the father and one for the mother. Of course it would be perfect if it was a girl and a boy.

"Sesshomaru, you seem to have a lot on your mind."

"Why are you here?"

"To keep you from getting at each other's throats!"

"Inuyasha, I tire of your senseless babbling..."

"Okay okay. Kagome wanted to see Jinenji and the pups like him too, so I figured might as well treat them three."

Somehow seeing my brother as a father and a mate makes me feel unaccomplished. He appears to be so settled in his life.

"And are you happy with the human?"

"Of course. You should try it."

I ignore his smart alecky comment.

"In any case, if you don't approach Rin, I am sure someone else will. She is a pretty girl - no, woman - and I am sure she has plenty of admirers."

He was right. Ever since she got back from Edo, I have received countless courtship requests from demon and human nobility alike. She had ordered me to deny everyone since she was not interested. But perhaps one day she might be. She definitely seems to be bonding with Inulai.

"Rin has shown no interest in any of her suitors." I said.

"Only a matter of time till the right one comes along, my hoity toity brother."

* * *

"So Rin, what's going on with you and Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked.

"Oh please, don't ask Kagome. It is one thing after the other these days."

"Aw that is so sweet to hear! You know, it was the same with Inuyasha and I. We just couldn't get enough of arguing with each other."

"Believe me when I say that it will not lead to the path you two are in right now."

"Oh? And why not? Don't tell me you don't like Sesshomaru?" teased Kagome.

"I do not want to be his mate, Kagome. So even if he were to ask me - which he isn't - I would refuse. I do not want to be Izayoi."

"Rin - what a thing to say! You are not Izayoi. Izayoi was a princess, you are a wild flower, not inhibited by societal limitations. Inutaisho had a mate and pup already, but Sesshomaru is as single as you. Don't forget he is stronger than his father too and has gained insight from his father's life. You and him are not to be compared with Inutaisho and Izayoi!"

"Still Kagome, it is too close for comfort. Even if Sesshomaru would not mind marrying a human and having half demon pups, who is to say that he will not change his mind midway? He will come to despise me for his life and I will not go through that."

"Sesshomaru may be many things but I do not think him capable of that! I really believe that you are underestimating him."

"I will never know, Kagome since I am not willing to know. Perhaps that is best."

Inulai cooed in agreement.


	7. Chapter 7

"Did you enjoy having Kagome and Inuyasha visit?" I ask.

She nods. She has been unusually quiet the last remaining days of our journey.

"Perhaps we should ask them home more often?" I question.

She looks at me bewildered.

"But you don't like being around Inuyasha!"

"True, but even his presence is not as annoying as it once was and you seem to enjoy spending time with Kagome and the pups. Not to mention, I am the pups' only other family. I think some more time together will do us all good." I said, with absolute certainty.

Rin looked surprised. I don't know why. I did not say anything extraordinary.

"Would you fly us home, Sesshomaru?"

I willingly oblige of course. I carry her into my arms and take flight. In a few minutes, we should be home.

* * *

The Western Palace looms into view. I have never been more relieved to return home. I would never have considered it home before, but things have changed since then.

My thoughts wander to Rin. She deserves to spend the evening in comfort - roughing it in the woods may be harder for her as a woman. I have a good mind of telling cook to spoil her tonight. Perhaps after a steaming bath, she can sit down to a feast. I am satisfied with that thought.

Jaken greets Rin at the entrance, excited to see her again. Jaken may not admit it but he has clearly missed Rin. Rin wanders over to the stables to greet Ah-Un while I head to my study. I have papers to catch up on, after all.

An hour or two later, I smell Rin approaching.

"Come in, Rin"

"I am sorry to disturb - I know you have probably seen enough of me to last a lifetime, but I just wanted to let you know that I am taking dinner in my room, so you won't see me when you dine."

"I was hoping we could all dine together the first evening back but if you are tired, I understand. Perhaps I won't go down to dinner either..."

"Do you and Jaken just want to have dinner in my quarters then?" She asks.

"Yes that would be a speedy solution. Thank you Rin."

She comes closer, laying a hand on my forehead.

"Sesshomaru, are you sure you don't have a fever or anything? You just thanked me!"

"Stop your antics Rin. Don't make me regret it."

"Of course not." She smiles and stoops low to peck my forehead.

If I allowed myself to blush, I would. I do not know why she is acting so strange all of a sudden but it is unnerving. We avoid physical contact at all cost, especially me. But this peck on the forehead seemed so natural and almost like that of a mate casually showing affection.

"I think it is you who has the fever, Rin." I comment, laying a hand on her forehead.

She gives a genuine laugh and I am pleased.


End file.
